There’s no loosing, only learning!
Chapter #1: Blocked in our MIND’s Cages.

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Only learnings ...



In this video I've discovered a new face of Pitbull, the rap singer.
Until this video, I thought he was just a rapper, and that’s all!

I need to say I'm not a big fun of this type of music, but I tolerate it... Actually when he sings with my favourites singers, I really like his performance, and ofcourse the total output of their creation... Here I need to mention his partnerships with Jenifer Lopez, Mark Antoy, and a lot f others...
Now, my opinion has changed, and Armando Christian Perez, alias "Pitbul", is not just an American Music STAR, a rapper or VIP person, for me he is a simple and great man, full of passion (look at him when he's speaking, a truly latin person!), and a native powerful and inspirational person, with solid respect for life, family, truly valuing women from his life, and generally peoples around him.
Actually I've discovered a great leader's portrait, but not just created by his marketing campaign's specialists! This new leadership facets of PitbulI I've just discovered, in such an unexpected way for me, helps me to see and to go out from my mind cages....

In this video Pitbull is speaking about failures. It is really an amazing Motivational Speech, discovering actually that this person have such a healthy thinking. Seeing this video I’ve just start to think again to failures and to all harsh challenges I've faced from environments I'm living…

 




He said that : "There's no losing, only learning. There's no failure, only opportunities…" in this 2017 video, and it is a fantastic motivation speech for overcoming Depression.

I've started watching his video just being curious, and I finished inspired. Thank you Armando Christian Perez!

Blocked in our MIND’s Cages:

It’s interesting, how we react in simple two different ways in relation with failures:

  1. Motivate us, and other's negativity or “shits” become, almost instantly, our fuel for success! So instead of replying or engaging in other’s negativity, we give back one of our largest smiles and calm self-trusted position, focusing simply on our goals and vision for future. Delivering success become the only way to repay Other’s Adversity and Negativity!
  2. Transform us in victims, becoming weak in front of all other’s negatvities and so open to embrace all their’s criticisms and, why not, “shits” as our present reality. Worse thing can happened here is their negativity become our long term state of mind, fact that influences all our behaviours on a long range, wining a negativity life.

  3. SO, what are you choosing from these two types of reactions in front of failures?

    Both are possible for anyone, no matter the personality, educations, context or experiences. What really makes a difference is being aware that you can really make anytime a personal choice, no matter how failures appears in your eyes!

We enter in our lives, and start a continuum fight for success and recognitions, from such an early stages of our lives, probably we’ve first claimed it in our Kindergarten time, and this fight still remains active in our present jobs, or personal lives, becoming a way of living for the majority of us.
People’s life is a Running to Success, depends what’s success means for each, but definitely it’s a run!
In our perpetual run, we do not even notice when we become real machines of doing things, almost perfect machines, with boring habits what obtains results and what’s afford us only a limited emotion’s landscape structure, being almost totally thoughtlessness. A growing body of empirical evidence and researches in the management literature suggests that peoples almost 40 % of their lives are lived with our thinking and this make somehow our destiny an output of old habits, more or less a prediction of our Inner well-developed machines for doing things.

We’ve become only peoples of habbits, and we’ve lost ourselves in doing things, forgetting to be happy

In time all these limitative patterns of thinking and behaviours, developed behind our habits, become strongly restrictive for us, but being the life’s daily routine we didn’t noticed them! These patterns became our secured strategies for achieving the outputs in our lives, so finally it’s starts to be formed dominantly at our subconscious level and we are accustomed with them as The Only Way of Doing Things. All these slef-limitators, no matter are functioning as self restrictions or self-controls, become transparent for us and form our “normal realities”, realities what are strenghted together with any pattern behind, once an emotional trigger appears and call for a self-protection need, so individuals start to act directly from their habitual behaviour's plethora, just to secure results.

All these slef-limitators, no matter are functioning as self restrictions or self-controls, become transparent for us, and finally form our “normal realities”, what are strenghtening every pattern behind, once any emotional trigger appears and call for a self-protection need, so individuals start to act directly from their habitual behaviour's plethora, just to secure their results.
We’ve learned in our early childhood, that a solid culture and education bring results. And everything else are circumstances or challenges to be managed.
Yes this is true! But results are different from individual to individual, no matter they have the same education or culture, or even close life contexts, the probability to have the same success is so random!
But no matter of this conclusion, if we come to know a great success-case, or maybe a pattern to provoke it and with what we're agreeing or is aligned to our "way of doing things", we become an early promoters of the best practices, no matter these practises can not fit to others.
Actually the most secure way of doing things with "visible results, become a rule or even a survival law, when they are agreed by larger groups of peoples, or by the society. So in this manner we’ve easy created a real personal culture for succes, and validate it inside our brain, all personal believes about our secure method to produce success in life becoming a reality.
In that moment we access our Toxic Thinking Patterns – what give us the Pseudo “Feel-Goods” sensation and put our Brain on Hold.
This culture need timely to be updated, analysed and valued for giving us a real opportunity to learn from mistakes and failures, because often these mistakes are the only way to go through tremendous innovations!
We, finally need to understand that success means different things, for different peoples, and there isn’t an universal panacea to produce success for everybody!

In reality, SUCCESS occurs in everybody lives, but not every time we want… Some times it works, sometimes not, and failures innevitably occur! How we react on it, is just a matter of self-choice! Anything else are just circumstances to be managed!
But, remember, we can let circumstances to manage our lives and become just a maschines, as Plato famously said that “an unexamined life isn’t worth living”.
This could become an easier and convenient life, but it certainly doesn’t make anybody fullfilled !

And yes we’ll finally avoid failures (but not 100%!), and certainly we’ll not have great successes. Maybe the pace of a great and fulfilling success will be so high, because we’ll lost ourselves in toxic thinking patterns, hence we're acting and doing “things what should be done”, and we just forget of our dreams and hopes.
I agree with Plato, let’s start really think, and do not let only your brain conduct your life! My advice is:

DON’T STAY HERE IS MIND-BURNING!

When we look back, from our normal people’s possition, and assess our life path, we certainly see that we’ve obtained a lot of things we’re proud of, isn’t it? Are all these things your successes or not? What help you to produce them? Whatever reasons of our achievements are, we normally have a lot of motivations for any life and business successe. And this motivations can be very limitative, when we’re attributed them outside our forces, sometimes even to Hazard.

The majority of us, attribute Success to solid work, or constant high quality educations, completed and certified by important and recognised degrees, or maybe favorised by our belonging to various professional forums or memberships, gained through our strong professional already trapped path, or to our accumulated real life & work experiences

But pay attention, staying in the dark of security, old paths and habbits, what finally give you expected things, and not analyse with mindfulness , can attract in our business and even in our personal life what in management is called the TMGT effect, and this is certainly can be quite dangerous for our minds, because overdoing the same good things, we risk also to repeat the same mistakes as our ancestors.
A growing body of empirical evidence in the management literature suggests that antecedent variables widely accepted as leading to desirable consequences actually lead to negative outcomes. Yes, we’ll obtain successes but thoughtlessness and limitted…
On the other hands, I know that all of us want to have EXTRAORDINARY LIVES! For this we need to do just simple things, probably, we did not done until now regularly.

So, first let’s Start Think & second Start Think Positive!

Thinking positive will invite you to feel positivity arround you! And all this positivity will transform you in a source of positivism, what will attract openness and easy collaboration from others!

In the end of this article I present you just two simple practices what help you to brake the chains of your minds cages, and help efficiently manage your behaviour in front of any fails, challenges or personal already chosen social inhibitors :
If we look to our brain and their way of functioning, we need to know that our thoughts create inner standards or rules that spark neurochemical dynamic processes, which selectively govern our choices and actions with precision.

It takes a thought to spark an emotion, or drive a decision to take an action, or to take no action at all.
And emotions give meaning to thoughts; they are the spark. In the words of neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, are “a telltale sign of consciousness.”
And a truth with a capital T ideea : Thoughts spark emotion-driven action. Looking and managing our emotional and Behavioural Intelligence (Behavioural EQ) will help us to produce consciounce and visible changes in our lives.

STRATEGIES for FREE your mind and boost your LIFE & Business Quality

When I speak about Behavioural EQ, I reffer to TRACOM Emotional Behavioural Model, what consist in two components:

  1. Emotional Intelligence
    • Perceiving and understanding one’s own emotions and the emotions of others
    • Gaining insight into oneself
    • Exercising empathy for others’ experiences
  2. Behavioral Intelligence
    • Recognizing the impact that emotions have on one’s own behavior and the behavior of others
    • Using this awareness to manage personal behavior and relationships.

To fully understand the differences, consider that Emotional Intelligence is completely internal; it is a person’s ability to understand his own emotions and recognize the emotions of others. Therefore Emotional Intelligence can be thought of as preceding Behavioral Intelligence. It might be helpful to practice Emotional Intelligence, but it is difficult to observe and put into action. Further, Behavioral Intelligence has proven to generate visible increases in productivity, team cohesion, employee engagement, leadership performance and the ability to effectively navigate change.

From BEQ model’s applications, I will propose you a few strategies what help you to make a change in your behaviours for challenging and transform others negativites and bases in your fuel for succes!
I chosen for you from the Emotional Intelligence component, where I propose you in the followings, some strategies to find out and control better your Emotion Awarness, and enrich your Self-Insight:


All inputs I'll share with you, are Strategies to practically enhance your BEQ in your real life!
Behavioural EQ focuses on those behaviours that are largely caused by emotions. The first step in changing problematic behaviours, or increasing productive behaviour, is to understand what causes it. Maybe you’ve already diagnosed your trigger since now, if not just think to the following exercises from your Behavioural EQ boost strategies:

  • 1. Know YOUR TRIGGERS :

    First set a clear context from your daily life, when you was triggered,and felt angry, frustrated or stressed.
    JUST FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING STEPS:
    a. Take a few minutes and write down a list of your emotional triggers - those things what cause you to feel stressed, frustrated or angry.
    b. Look and analyse the pace of their appearances in your life
    c. Make a TOP of your favourite emotional triggers.
  • 2. A NEW Behaviour Scenario !

    Reinvent a healthy NEW Behaviour Scenario for yourself:

    The research shows that when you mentally rehearse scenarios (what means Mental Representation or Mental Practice ), you are activating the same neural circuitry that is activated when you are actually in the scenario.
    Instead of responding the way you’ve typically have in the past, imagine yourself acting in a more productive way. Develop a mental “movie” of yourself and clearly imagine yourself behaving in the way you want.
    This will help you prepare for when these situations actually occur. You will have a script to follow!
  • 3. Force your BRAIN INTO ACTION !

    Force your brain into action by solving problems!
    Actively distracting yourself is an effective way to maintain self-control. If you are suddenly in a situation where you are feeling anger and frustration, for instance, shift your focus from the other person or situation to a mental problem.
    Make the problem challangging! For example work out the solution for 15 X 18. This will force your brain to focus on the math problem, and away to the stressful situation. The old adage to count to ten is not helpful, because is too easy and cannot truly engage your brain in problem solving.
    The point is to engage the brain region that solves problems, thereby preventing the emotional centre of your brain from flooding the bloodstream with adrenalin and other stress hormones that cause strong emotional reactions. 

hence you’ll win time to chose a conscious decision and to speak clearly and with decorum whenever you are in an emotionally charged situation.


There are a lot of other strategies to follow, and we will probably deal with some of them in other articles and themes. If you want to learn more about Behavioural EQ Model just visit the BEQ page: from our site.

I will stop here, but all of these strategies and many other can help you, at the right moment, to find and chose a win-win behaviour what helps you to obtain greater success and achievements in your life, and truly make you learn from your mistakes!
So I invite you to focus only on these three strategies and measure how you'll grow the self control and self-esteem when you’ll apply them in your real life!

Become an active Learner in your life, and don't forget :

Life is a true inspiration!

Nicole Dumitrescu

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